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Sounds like Gladys has been up to more than just making her ill-conceived nightlife debut. Those two elements sure sound like the baking soda and vinegar needed to create a drug-lab volcano. Jughead, the only person under 18 within 100 miles not involved in the musical, learns from his dad that their own old trailer has been stolen, following recent pharmacy break-ins in the area. For example, If you lack the balls / You can go play dolls is sanitized, a little confusingly, to If you lack the juice / Go play duck duck goose.) (By the way, yes, we’re working with Heathers 101: High School Edition here. “Candy Store” serves as an excellently high-camp, high-weird opportunity for the no-longer-girlfriends to express their rage via plaid miniskirts and perilously swung croquet mallets. Sadly, Choni have in fact broken up, but Ch and Oni are forced to face each other when Kevin recruits the head of the Pretty Poisons as his choreographer. (ooh), and Reggie and Archie are, as Ronnie’s more recent ex puts it, “Just two single straight dudes, doing some theater.” Josie is our Veronica, Sweet Pea is our J.D. Kevin answers Mayor Lodge’s complaints about the too-adult content of Heathers (its depictions of teen violence and suicide, of course, being a relatively wholesome - and ultimately optimistic - corrective to literally everything else going on in Riverdale) in the only way he can: by running around the school performing “Beautiful.” Musicalception.Ĭheryl is indeed Heather Chandler, and Betty and Veronica are, respectively, Heathers McNamara and Duke, which can get confusing in the moments when Riverdale Veronica sings sliced-and-diced lyrics that originally belonged to the Heathers character actually named Veronica, but I digress. From the very beginning, Riverdale’s second musical episode does not disappoint: I am happy to report that we only have to wait 26 seconds into the first scene of this episode until someone starts non-diegetically singing.






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